Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
