How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
