So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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