you guys were way drunker than both of me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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