would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
