he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
