No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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