True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
