He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
