Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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