He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
