i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
