Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Mom said you looked used
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
