Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
