I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
