He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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