he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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