its not stalking. its research.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
