She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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