i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just found puke in my bra..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize