her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you had me at cake vodka
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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