At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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