I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
