Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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