I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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