i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Farmville is her only friend.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
