We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
