why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
