I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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