That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
