susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am naked and annoyed.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oh god it's open bar.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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