PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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