Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
