I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
