i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
