im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
