I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
