This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
