Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
