all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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