I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My penis needs a shock collar
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
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