Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sext me about skeletons
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
