Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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