The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
