You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
