Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Less talking, more tequila
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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