So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
organizing the empties. That sober.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
