carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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