Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
