i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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