she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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