I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
