After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
