just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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