I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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