I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
