She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
