ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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