I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
