I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
someone owes me an orgasm
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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