I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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