I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Of course I have a pirate flag
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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