My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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