i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize