My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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